Saturday, May 10, 2014

When Animals Attack!

Have you ever seen that show, "When Animals Attack!"??? It's full of stories about people being bitten by sharks or attacked by cougars...shocking, super-gruesome stories! I know you're gonna think I'm one sick puppy for saying this, but I think it's awesome! So, do my boys. Chips off the old block...It's all very exciting, but nobody usually dies. They just get horribly maimed. Plus, it's usually someone doing something ridiculously stupid, like walking up to a bison after ignoring all of the signs that say, "Stay away from the bison! DANGER! DANGER!"So, you're kinda rooting for the animals...Nature cleaning up the human gene pool by weeding out some of the stupid, y'know?

Anyway, we have our own version of the show going on in our backyard. Not too gruesome, though, and the humans really aren't doing anything stupid. Our chapter of the show would be called, "When Hummingbirds Attack!" Stop giggling! Seriously! Have YOU ever been dive-bombed by an irate male hummingbird defending "his" food supply? Ever felt the brush of buzzing hummingbird wings against the side of your head and heard a terrifying sound, like the buzz of a miniature chainsaw or some giant, mutant mosquito, mere millimeters from your tender, exposed earlobe? Ever had to dodge and weave, narrowly missing dangerous backyard deck hazards, like BBQ's, cheap patio furniture and a variety of potted plants, as a small, sharp-beaked jet plane, glowing red like Katniss in "Girl On Fire", attempts to drive you away, while your black lab mix cowers in fear of the terror from above? (So much for defending your masters, dog!) No? Well, it's traumatizing. And, sort of hilarious at the same time. Especially when the damn bird is attacking you while you're trying to get to its feeder to fill it with more nectar!

Wait just a minute...We keep feeding it, even while it attacks us? Now that I think about it, maybe the humans are being sort of stupid in this scenario...Go Nature!

Cheers!  -Beth

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