Saturday, April 16, 2011

Things you just never realized. Oy!

I've talked about this before, but it bears repeating...Because, being the only woman in a house with one husband and two small boys continually makes me realize things I'd never quite grasped in the past:

1) Boys really are completely fascinated by their own penises from a very young age. It's a fact. Based on the behavior of adult males, this fascination apparently never goes away. Explains a lot...

2) It is 100% possible for a home to go from completely clean to looking like a tornado literally blew through it, scattering couch pillows, books, toys, papers, and clothes in all directions, depositing dirt and mud and sticks and grass on the just-swept the time it takes for one husband, one five-year-old boy, and one six-year-old boy to walk in the front door, through the living room, and into the kitchen. That's about two minutes. Two. Minutes. (By the way, it takes far less time than that, for one exhausted, working Mom, who just cleaned that house while the boys were outside, to completely lose her mind!)

3) It is apparently physically impossible for males to get all of their pee into the toilet. Doesn't make sense to me, either. I mean, they've got equipment that actually allows them to AIM their pee. They can write their names in the snow with the stuff, if they want to. So, why is it that boys ( can't just aim it at the water and GET IT ALL IN??? Thankfully, I have mostly managed to browbeat my husband and sons into cleaning up their drips afterwards. The mystery is why there are drips in the first place...

4) There are a LOT of different words for vomit. Something I'd never really thought of until two days ago, when Spence came up to us and asked us if there are other ways to say "throwing up." My husband's apparent glee at generating a list of vomit words was a bit disturbing. But there really are a lot of them, when you think about it. Which I don't recommend doing, by the way. Still, it was slightly fascinating to watch these two males-of-the-species -- one small boy and one very large boy in a man's body -- enthusiastically coming up with all the different puke words they could think of and high-fiving each other after each one. I just can't imagine a little girl having the same conversation with her Mommy. But, maybe I'm wrong. One thing is sure, with two little boys, I'll never know...

I can only imagine what new discoveries lie ahead for me -- the lone female representative in this family -- once my boys hit puberty... Yikes.



  1. Love the comment about pee on the floor. I get so worked up about can it be so stinking hard!

  2. yeah, boys are just gross in this way. So much peeing and farting and penis pulling...I wish it didn't make me laugh so much.

  3. That is my life. Except the penis part.