You are now entering a romantic dead zone...

I am about to enter a romantic Dead Zone. Why, you may ask? Well, two major celebrations occur within days of each other every May -- Mother's Day and my birthday -- and I am married to someone who is well-known for being, shall we say, romantically impaired when it comes to recognizing these events. I'm not joking. I literally have girlfriends and family members calling me the week before to say, "Hang in there. You know he loves you, even though he's probably going to forget, or try to throw something together so last-minute that it's all going to fall apart. He loves you very much. Just remember that." They tell their own partners cautionary tales, like the time he took me to a sports bar for our anniversary, trying hard to watch my face instead of the soccer game, and not succeeding. He would fixate on my eyes, and I could see him trying really, really hard to focus on what I was saying. But, he just couldn't keep his eyes from darting off to the side to check the score. Mmmmm....Romantic.......Now, it is important at this time to stress that I do not doubt, for a second, that my husband loves me and values me and would be devastated if I ever left. (I feel the very same way about him, by the way. I am, in fact, an extremely lucky woman. My man is intelligent, funny, sexy, and a great Dad to our two little boys. But, romance and acknowledgement? Not his greatest strengths!) Anyway, every year I feel cautiously optimistic that my darling will not forget these dates, and may, in fact, put a little bit of thought, foresight, and actual planning into acknowledging them. You know, maybe arrange a babysitter and take me out for Thai food and a movie??? Unfortunately, history has shown that my husband is one of those men who sneaks out of bed the morning of the event, because he has just realized that he has forgotten it again, runs to the grocery store to buy a card, and signs it at the kitchen table two minutes before handing it to me. SIGH. I insist that I am not a high-maintenance woman (although my dear husband would most likely disagree strongly to that sentiment), but I do think it's important that people are made to feel valued, appreciated, and special on these particular days. (I do a bang-up job on Father's Day and my hubby's birthday every year, so this is not just empty whining here...) Some would argue that holidays are manipulative, stupid days invented by greeting card companies and florists, and that we should be striving to acknowledge our loved ones in small ways every day, instead of lavishing them with love, attention, and gifts on specific days on the calendar. Yeah, well, you know what? If it was that easy, everybody would be doing it, and we wouldn't need holidays. Me? Call me selfish, but I'd like to have a little extra love, attention, and maybe even a romantic date a couple of times a year just to keep me sane! I mean, let's face it ladies, how many times have you heard, "Oh honey, thanks so much for feeding the kids, feeding the dogs, emptying the dishwasher, pulling the meat out of the freezer to thaw for dinner, getting the kids to daycare, going to work, picking up the kids from daycare, letting the dogs out and picking up their poop, paying the bills, putting the wet clothes I left in the washer into the dryer, making a well-balanced meal for all of us, remembering to call to wish my mother a happy birthday, cleaning up the meal we all just ate, tucking the kids into bed, folding the laundry you washed earlier, asking me about my day at work, and not falling asleep from total exhaustion while I told you all about it. You're awesome, and here are some flowers and a gift certificate for a massage for everything you did today." Yeah, right! Yes, we should strive to appreciate our partners on a daily basis. No doubt about it. But, until hell freezes over and people all over the world begin to do so, we need holidays. At least I do. So, the dates are circled on the calendar in bright orange pen, we've actually talked about the fact that these two days are coming up (and there was no sporting event on as a distraction during that conversation), and I find myself feeling cautiously optimistic once more...