Wednesday, September 28, 2011

OK, OK, I'm a dinosaur.

When I was a kid, we were the last people I knew to get a microwave and a color T.V. It didn't matter how passionately we begged, pleaded, cried, and insisted that "Everyone, absolutely EVERYONE else has one!!!"


Because, in my youthful opinion, my Dad was stuck in the stone age. Afraid to try new things. Afraid to embrace new technology. Stubbornly clinging to the ways of the past. An old fogey...

Apparently, I have now become my own father.

Yes, I do have a microwave and not one, but TWO color T.V.'s in my house. One of them is even a flat screen. But, I only have basic cable and the other T.V. is one of those huge, boxy old Sony's. I don't have DVR features or picture-in-picture or anything fancy like that. I still use a VCR to record programs, and I honestly have no idea what the difference is between a regular DVD and a Blue Ray. Whatever.

And, I have a blog. That's embracing new things, right? I'm contemporary, dammit! Instead of journaling the old-fashioned way, with pen and paper, I type. But, I don't do Facebook or Twitter, which I've been told you absolutely MUST do, if you want anyone other than your family members to actually read your blog. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I want to communicate in full sentences and paragraphs, not in "tweets." Whatever they are.

I did finally cave in and buy a cell phone last year as well. Again, embracing new things. But, it's just one of those pre-paid trac phones, and I don't know how (nor do I want to learn how) to text. I prefer the sound of someone's voice to the beep,beep of text messages. Plus, I'm trying to avoid carpal tunnel of the thumbs, which I hear is on the rise in frequent texters. I think I will probaby have to embrace texting, once my boys become teenagers, but who knows what will have been invented by then, anyway? Maybe we'll be communicating via telepathy or something...

But, this is where I draw the line...Books. Books, books, wonderful books! I'm sorry, folks, but I have no interest in reading books off of a Kindle or iPad or any of those other fancy schmancy devices. Call me old-fashioned. Say I'm a dinosaur. I care not. There is nothing like an actual, real, book, and no expensive little device is ever going to replace the experience of reading one. Yes, I know you can get ones that actually simulate the turning of a page, but you're not actually TURNING a page. You're not feeling the weight of the book in your hands, or smelling that unique "book-y" smell, or having any of the other experiences one has with a real book. No more perusing used book stores and wondering how many others read the same book over the years...No more sitting on the couch with a little boy in your lap, helping him turn the pages all by himself....No more passing on a great book you've just read to your best friend or your brother or that nice stranger on the airplane, knowing they'll be holding the very same book you held, holding their breath at the very same places you did, and coming across the spot where you accidentally spilled your coffee...No more accidentally dropping your book into the bathtub, but not worrying about it, because you know you can just blow the pages dry...And no more late nights reading a book by flashlight, so your Mom or your Dad (or your husband) won't know you're up late, glued to the pages...

So, I embrace my old-fogey ways, and I raise a glass of wine in tribute to my dear ol' Dad. And, now, I'm going to turn off my clunky, 5-year old computer and go read a book. A real one.



  1. Yes, yes, yes Beth! (Wouldn't that be a great name for a book :)

    I absolutely CRINGE when that kids commercial comes on..."once there were books, now there's VTech Reader" (or whatever the product is).

    Fortunately I DO have a DVR, so I can fast-forward the commercial!

  2. I'm just worried about what's going to be around when my little one is an adult! scary shit! we will all probably have 3d glasses screwed to our heads and cell phones implanted in our brains.

  3. Noelle, you crack me up! And, yes, it's scary to think what might be coming. That's why I'm trying to raise my little guys to have some social skills and to know how to actually communicate, face-to-face. Somebody's going to have to run the world, right?