And clench, and squeeze, and turn, and clench, and squeeze, and brake...

If it wasn't for my car exercises, I'd weigh 400 pounds. I'm not kidding. In this economy, a gym membership is out of the question, even if I could find affordable childcare, so I could actually squeeze in a workout somewhere between the mad dash to and from Spencer's bus stop, the mad dash to and from Foster's preschool, the mad dash to and from work, and the constant mad dash around the house and around town after work to do laundry, cleaning, grocery-shopping, bill-paying, doctor appointments, dog poop patrol, and everything else that goes into keeping a family together these days! Whew! Now, with that said, there are plenty of hard-working Moms who manage to do yoga in their living rooms, or throw the kiddos into a jogging stroller and hit the sidewalk for a workout. So, I realize that there are probably creative ways I could carve out a little time to work on shrinking the size of certain body parts. But, the truth is, by the time the kids are snoozing, and I'm done with everything that has to be done in a typical day, I'm completely exhausted. All I want to do is collapse on the couch with the remote control and a glass of wine and kill brain cells watching mindless T.V. until hubby comes home. And, while there are many women who are willing to eat nothing but carrots and cottage cheese to stay skinny...I'm not one of them. I don't want to live in a world without red wine and big, heaping helpings of pasta. Not worth it.

Thus, "Beth's Car Workout" was born. What is it? Well, it basically consists of almost constant butt squeezes and tummy suck-ins (Suck-ins? You know what I mean!) as I cruise all around town. (And, when I hit a red light, it's Kegel time! Gotta keep those other muscles fit, eh? Too much information? Too bad. We should all be doing them for our health, anyway, and a red light is a perfect place to get in a few squeezes...) Then, when the kids aren't in the car with me -- and sometimes, when they are, but they're driving me nuts and I need to tune them out -- I add in some loud music accompanied by laughable dance moves behind the wheel. Oh, yes. I am THAT woman! The one you pull up next to and see boogying in the car seat and singing at the top of her lungs. I'm not even embarrassed by it anymore. If I catch someone staring, I just give 'em a huge smile and keep. on. boogying. Screw 'em if they think I'm crazy. That craziness is what's keeping me from going up another pant size. (Unfortunately, it's not enough to keep me in the pant size I'd like to be in...heh, heh.)

So, the next time you pull up next to a crazed woman, dancing behind the wheel of the car...give her a wave and a big grin. She's probably just doing the best she can to get in a workout!

Cheers!